i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
