need another drink. this is the easiest way
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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