i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
Randomize
