remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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