She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
