3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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