don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
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