The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
