I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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