420 ftw
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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