WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
