If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
