We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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