stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
