i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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