so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Randomize
