I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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