Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
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