My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
