the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Randomize
