doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The air was thick with penises
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
