My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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