Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
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