I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
