Porn is love you can see.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
