I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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