That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I just had sex on a roof
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
