i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
