I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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