i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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