Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Even my vagina gasped.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Randomize
