Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
