Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
Randomize
