maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
he was CRYING into my vagina
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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