I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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