what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
He kissed a someone with a penis
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
