i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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