His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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