I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
