Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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