If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Randomize
