Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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