I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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