(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
it's like iHOP with fire
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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