And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Randomize
