So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
The air taste purple.
Randomize
