I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
