Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
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