I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
