He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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